Welcome to 30ish and single (still)!
This space is about the life and experiences of the 30ish adults (Even the 40ish). So long as society expects you to be married and you are not; then this blog is about and primarily, for you. Here, we share the good, not so good and downright ugly experiences in this regard.
On this space, we say single (still) because generally that is the way the world views an adult who is 30ish and single. There is a ‘still’ attached to it (usually with an exclamation mark to stress the criticality of the situation) **hahahaha**.
Many will say this isn’t an issue or even a topic worth discussing but we disagree (of course, we are writing about it) and this is why; the moment you turn 30ish i.e 27 and above, everyone wants to know when you are making the announcement.
Heaven forbids you make it to 30 with no hint on the topic. People begin to wonder what is wrong, asking questions like, ‘Aren’t you dating?’ ‘Are you socialising enough?’ and they go on with premises like ‘Are you sure you are not being too picky?’ ‘You know no one is perfect o!’ Some even tell you where to go to, ‘You should go for weekly services at church’, ‘Attend single seminars’, ‘Attend more weddings’ and if your ‘case’ is really serious, you may even have dating sites suggested to you. I happen to fall under this category. **Hehehehe**( Full Disclosure: I have nothing against dating sites). The number one prayer point for you becomes ‘Your husband will locate you!’ (Like his GPRS is currently broken), ‘You will get married this year!’ Every single man or woman you say hello to, becomes a potential spouse and after every family wedding, you hear ‘You are next o!’ ‘Don’t worry, your own is coming soon in Jesus name’. Most often than not, this is said from a place of love and yes, in my opinion, that makes it even more infuriating. After a while, all these well-meaning expectations play on your emotions and mind, even for the toughest of us. Soon, you internalize the pressure and begin asking yourself, if really, something is wrong with you. Are you being too picky or what have not?
Some will say this is predominantly an African issue, which I somewhat agree to. We are culturally built to be married with babies before 30 (Especially the ladies, I say the men have it easier, feel free to disagree with me). Nevertheless, I still believe that this is an issue that people irrespective of race, culture and gender can identify with. A while back, Tyra Banks talked about the pressures she faced with not having kids yet, Lupita Nyongo has also talked about being under pressure to get married, Linda Ikeji always talks about her single-hood every now and then (Personal, I think she takes jabs at herself so others would not or it will be less significant when they do).
At this point, I should say I am 30ish and Single (Can’t exactly complain because it is on this basis that this space is born). Unfortunately, I can only write from my perspective; my experiences, observations and thoughts, which are why this has been made an open space for anyone/everyone, who wants to participate in the dialogue. Let’s hear your own perspective; observations, experiences, stories, even your feelings; the good, not so good and downright ugly.
You can share your thoughts in the way of an ORIGINAL write-up by emailing me at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org. I will be excited to put it up as a guest post with due credit (of course).
So welcome again to this space. Let’s share this stage of life together and hopefully, engage the world so they can ease up on us and we can in turn, ease up on ourselves.
Tene_T ( Creator & Editor)